My Short Stories

Screenplay for an episode of the "Big Bang Theory."

"Downunder Desert."

Home | "Interior Communications with God." | ESSAYS. | COFFEE CLUB | Thought for the day. | ancient australia-2


Brief Synopsis: Leonard woos Penny in the Australian outback (Ayers Rock) in central Australia, whilst sheldon, Howard and Raj do field work in their respective fields there.

scene 1.

                      Sheldon arrives home, Leonard is already there seated in front of the TV. 

                       He opens the door, enters and announces;

SHELDON: (matter-of- fact-ly) Leonard, I'm off to Australia. 

LEONARD:  Thats nice. . . . . what!

SHELDON:  Yes. I'm doing an experiment involving electron transfer through solid rock at various temperatures, and Ayers Rock in the Australian desert is the biggest size single piece of rock, subject to the greatest temperature                                                                                 v                     variation over the shortest time span .. ie A DAY.

LEONARD:  Great. Have a nice……………DAY!    (slight sarcasm)

SHELDON:  Well actually it involves night work also. Thats where the temperature variations come in. Leonard have you listened to a word I said?

LEONARD:  (spoken off-handedly) OK then have a nice night too.

SHELDON:  Oh, you're coming with me.


SHELDON:  Yes, you and Penny will have a lovely honeymoon.

LEONARD:  (disbelief) Well for a start Sheldon we aren't married, and even if we did tie the knot you are the last person we would be spending our honeymoon with! (slight derision)

SHELDON:  Oh I know, but think about it Leonard. So far she has knocked you back, how many times? Are you going to just let that candle burn out or run with new opportunities as they present themselves.….sweep her off          

h                     her feet in the outback!

LEONARD:  Good night Sheldon!

SHELDON:  See you in Oz!  (Sheldon gives his Koala smile and goes to his room)

                       Leonard shakes his head.

scene 2.

                     Camera shot of Sheldon waving through porthole of plane as it taxis out, a little fearful but buoyant, then Howard appears in the porthole from the seat next to him with a look that screams "What am I doing here!" then Raj                  a                   appears from the third seat with the same sentiment expressed humorously as well.

                     Followed by a brief shot of Penny and Leonard waving them goodbye from the terminal.

scene 3.

                       Begins with shot of Leonard and Penny on a different plane without dialogue. (laughter)

LEONARD:   Catching a different plane and staying in a different hotel was a great idea.

PENNY:        Yeah, but I still can't believe that we both agreed to this whole thing. Anyone would think we loved Koalas as much as Sheldon.

LEONARD:   Sure you do - (gives Penny Sheldon's Koala face)

PENNY:         I know what that is, don't give me that Sheldon Koala face. 

LEONARD:   It's not like they are spending the whole time with us. Sheldon will be busy with his experiments and Howard has agreed to help out with the set up and monitoring of the equipment.

                       Meanwhile Raj will be doing a little sky watching with his telescope in the pristine night desert air of the australian desert.

                       We wont even be meeting up with them till the end of the two weeks when we have all agreed to have dinner together. 

                      Should be fun too right

PENNY:        Y-U-P!   (slight sarcasm)    Remind me again what will we be doing?

LEONARD:   Thats the fun part. Nothing. Simply having a break and hopefully a good time.

PENNY:        Quirky smile.

                       They kiss briefly on the lips.

PENNY:        Correct me if I'm wrong Leonard but isn't electron transfer through thingys your line of work?   

LEONARD:   (defensively) Well, yeah … but trust me this is entirely Sheldon's idea. It's his experiment. I have no interest in it.

PENNY:         I believe you. Should be great as long as the sky is the only thing Raj will be looking at through that telescope of his.

LEONARD:   It'll be fine. We'll stay at a different hotel and besides its not like you'll be going jogging all the time. Raj can talk to girls now so I don't think he does that any more.

PENNY:        Yeah, sure. (delightful sarcasm)

scene 4.

                      Shot of crocodile shaped hotel at Ayers Rock from the air as they land and kangaroos bounding away in the distance.

                       Then back in the airplane. A smaller plane.

PENNY:       Re: crocodile shape (the entrance is through the open jaws of the crocodile) Wow! Very realistic!

LEONARD:  It would be if there were any crocodiles in the desert.

PENNY:        Smiles.

                      They disembark and load into a 4wheel drive to the hotel.

                      Penny and Leonard kiss standing up in the back of the open 4 wheel drive then sit down as it starts to move.

                      They arrive at the hotel and whilst waiting at the reception desk spot Raj. 

                       Raj does not see them.

LEONARD:  What are they doing here? They are supposed to be staying at a different hotel.

RECEPTIONIST:    ( kindly and politely) There's only one hotel here sir.


                                   Leonard looks at Penny. Penny looks at Leonard.

LEONARD:   (to the receptionist) thanks for the heads up. 

                                  They both head to their room donning their backpacks.

scene 5.

                                 Sheldon is setting up his equipment a the base of Ayers Rock.

                                 Howard is studying a diagram he is holding.

                                 An aboriginal is studying them from a distance of approximately 30 feet.

aboriginal:  Welcome to Uluru.

Sheldon:     Thank you

Howard:       (Waves and says) Hi!

aboriginal:  Did you know that this rock is the centre of a continental system of energy lines?

Sheldon:  (intrigued) I did not know that. (turns to Howard and says) you know Howard this experiment may take on a whole new dimension.

                   we may be able to set this equipment to measure the strength of these energy lines.

Howard:    Energy, smenergy; I don't know, we are not set up to do that.

Sheldon: Simple. We just tweak a few of the instruments, child's play really - more Leonard's field, but I think I can manage it.

scene 6. Shot of Raj exploring "The Rock" base with a telescope on his shoulder.

                 Then a dingo confrontation scene.

                 Shot goes from a dingo cornered and snarling to raj shocked and petrified.

                  Next there is an off-camera scream.

                  Next shot is Howard, sheldon and raj flying in a small plane with Raj on a drip.

                  Silence. Physical facial humor from all three depicting shock and awe.

                   Next scene is a deliberate contrast. Penny and Leonard in their hotel room. Kiss standing, silent scene with romantic music.

                   Champagne poured. smile from Leonard fitting the romantic mood of the occasion. return smile from Penny.

                  Scene shifts back to the other three. (again, deliberate contrast)

                  disembarking from the plane at a very suspicious looking hospital, which turns out to be a secret US spy base.

                  There is a sign, it says "secret US spy base."

                  Next scene. They attempt to leave with Raj all stitched up.

guard:    Oh. you can't leave. (they look at each other in shock and surprise during the pause.)

2nd guard:   without signing a secrecy agreement.

Howard: Where do I sign.. Sheldon signs also  then Raj, with humorous awkward facial expression as his right arm is in a sling.

                       Next scene. Shots of changing colours of the Rock at dusk and they land back at the airstrip next to  it.

                                              Proceed to night experiments with sophisticated monitoring equipment.

                        Next scene. Penny and Leonard in bed together sleeping with side light on.

                                               Contented and happy smiles on both their faces.

                        Next scene. Raj studying ther night sky through telescope in a shark cage.

                        Next scene is blank with  the words  "2 weeks later"

                         Next scene. They ALL meet up for dinner as pre-arranged.

                                                 At dinner conversation Raj explains how staff at Ayers Rock mistook them for employees of the secret

                                                 spy base and that is why they took them there, because of their accents sand sophisticated-looking equipment

                                                  and how they had to sign a secrecy agreement to not say what they saw there.

PENNY:        Wow

LEONARD:  What did you see?

RAJ:               (facial humor, pause) Nothing!

LEONARD:   (to Sheldon) How did your experiment go?

SHELDON:   Interesting readings. Right up your alley really. Ee also succeeded with a first (shot of Howard nodding)

                        But you can read all about it when I collect my Nobel Prize.

LEONARD:  (surprised) for measurements of electricity penetration of rock!?

SHELDON:  No. On our additional measurements of energy lines flux -  system some say set up by our brilliant ancestors

                       which still confounds the most complex scientific minds today.

PENNY:       A toast. To a great holiday.

                     (they charge their glasses and drink)

RAJ:            To a great discovery. (repeat above)

HOWARD:  To a relatively carefree 2 weeks

                       awkward glances between him and Raj as he also looks at Raj's sling. (repeat above)

SHELDON:  To my Nobel Prize.

                        brief hesitant pause, then

 ALL the others rejoin: To Sheldon's Nobel Prize. (laughter)


Optional jokes at dinner re Bernadette and Amy not coming.

Bernadette because she thought it was a train journey and she hates trains (Howards reply to Penny's question)

Sheldon is not amused by this (as he loves trains) and adds "and Amy didn't come because she couldn't get a grant to study koalas." Howard replies derisively "You mean for cutting them up and looking inside?" then snickers.

Followup Episode 2. "the Writing Bug."

written by
       charlie dimech.